After that time with my parents I doubled down on my healing focus. I got on the trainer, and did some easy miles. I did my eye exercises to help with my vision, which was impacted from the accident due to the concussion. I walked. I slept. I did PT 2x per week, Chiro 3x per week, accupuncture 3x per week, and had follow up appointments. The cast came off and i did hand therapy 3x per week. I was pretty busy with all the appointments, sleeping, and eating.
Sometimes progress was amazing. sometimes it stalled, and was frustrating. I just kept reminding myself: this is your job right now. your job is to heal. take it seriously. So i did. Every day I would stretch, do the PT exercises, nap, eat well, meditate, and get some fresh air. I slowly increased time on the bike, without intensity. I couldn't really look at the screen so i'd just ride, without any feedback on what i was doing.
In August i returned to work. I had to break up my day to get breaks from the screen, and would walk for some calls, taking them on my phone. I worked reduced hours, working up to my regular work week. And here is the cool thing: my team was there for me. They really leaned in. I have a great team at work - i manage about 40 people, with 4 directs. They were there for me, they took up some of my work, and covered for me. And when i came back i asked them if they wanted me to take it back - some of it yes, some of it no. i learned to work differently, to rely more on my team which meant they were more empowered and i had time to focus on strategy, culture, product. it was life-changing - i love my job even more than i did before. My team taught me how to be a better leader. it's been amazing and i'm very thankful for that
i'd been increasing my rides and in Aug i started to add intensity. I wanted to get ready for Rebecca's Private Idaho - which i'd signed up for prior to the accident. It was an important part of my healing journey - and my goal was to enjoy every moment of suffereing, to empty my tank - whatever that meant - and to show up for myself every day. I did (more on that race later). This was such a milestone for me.
People would ask me 'are you back'? 'is your form back?' No. I'm not back. there is no going back, and honestly, I don't want to go back. I want to move forward. If i am doing everything i can, each day, to improve my form while balancing my other life priorities (kids, job, husband), then i am winning. period. I would not give up what i've learned in this process. no, i do not want to 'get back' or 'go back'.
Relentless forward momentum has been my motto for a while now, and it serves me well. It does not mean no down time ... it means i am always doing something to move myself forward. This might be a day off to really recover, meditation to grow from the inside, or a hard workout to grow my fitness. All of these things move me forward and i'm grateful for each day, and for the new habits and i am learning which help move me forward.
