Rebeccas Private Idaho (2022)

Since the crash in early May I had been dreaming about this race. My dream and hope was to line up. Just to line up after the injuries and recovery over the past few months is such a gift. And I’m here! I couldn’t do it without Jonathan Keller support, and without the help and encouragement from my coach Jessica Cutler and my many friends and family who believe in me … who continually remind me to be brave, to see (really see) the beauty of life all around me, who bring out the best in me. You will all be riding with me tomorrow during the longest day. Thank you for your love and support. I’m one lucky human.

RPI day 1 was a blast. I was a bit worried about the single track as I haven’t been able to train on it this summer (injuries). But here is what I have to say about the singletrack: wheeeeeeeeeee! Woot! I loved it! It was fun to remember why I love riding singletrack . I struggled at the start due to some weird cramping which is not normal for me (so im blaming altitude), but I managed to push thru it, and enjoy every second of oxygen deprived suffering. So much fun! 11th on the day. Best of all, I met my goal: I had fun, I enjoyed the pain, I appreciated being here, and soaked up the views .

RPI Day 2 was not an awesome performance, though the kit Jonathan bought me for my bday was on point :) I was not with the front group getting to the top (had to pee! Twice!).. so I had to wait for 35 min. And I lost the course on my wahoo so had no idea how far it was to the top. All excuses aside the reality is that my pacing was wayyy too conservative. Time to shake the dust off, recover, and take that feeling of “I had more in the tank” into Sunday. Views were amazing today and my fav part was coming down and cheering for the remaining racers

And it’s a wrap! Rebecca’s Private Idaho was everything I could have asked for. It was such a big milestone in my recovery journey, and a wonderful part of my life journey. The views were amazing. The heat (and wide temp variations!), altitude, and climbing were punishing. It was an honor to experience this. I met my goal and was fully present each day, soaking it all in. I feel so lucky! To have the support (looking at you Jonathan Keller ) to do this with three young girls…. Being recovered enough to do it… and knowing I had so much love and support each pedal stroke made it so sweet. On the final day of over 100 miles, every time I was alone there were two or three yellow butterflies that joined me. It was so incredibly special. thank you all, and thank you Rebecca’s Private Idaho for this experience. It was a dream come true. 10th in the overall GC.

My healing Journey

 After that time with my parents I doubled down on my healing focus. I got on the trainer, and did some easy miles. I did my eye exercises to help with my vision, which was impacted from the accident due to the concussion. I walked. I slept. I did PT 2x per week, Chiro 3x per week, accupuncture 3x per week, and had follow up appointments. The cast came off and i did hand therapy 3x per week.  I was pretty busy with all the appointments, sleeping, and eating. 

Sometimes progress was amazing. sometimes it stalled, and was frustrating. I just kept reminding myself: this is your job right now. your job is to heal. take it seriously. So i did.  Every day I would stretch, do the PT exercises, nap, eat well, meditate, and get some fresh air.  I slowly increased time on the bike, without intensity. I couldn't really look at the screen so i'd just ride, without any feedback on what i was doing.  

In August i returned to work. I had to break up my day to get breaks from the screen, and would walk for some calls, taking them on my phone. I worked reduced hours, working up to my regular work week. And here is the cool thing: my team was there for me. They really leaned in. I have a great team at work - i manage about 40 people, with 4 directs. They were there for me, they took up some of my work, and covered for me. And when i came back i asked them if they wanted me to take it back - some of it yes, some of it no. i learned to work differently, to rely more on my team which meant they were more empowered and i had time to focus on strategy, culture, product. it was life-changing - i love my job even more than i did before. My team taught me how to be a better leader. it's been amazing and i'm very thankful for that

i'd been increasing my rides and in Aug i started to add intensity. I wanted to get ready for Rebecca's Private Idaho - which i'd signed up for prior to the accident. It was an important part of my healing journey - and my goal was to enjoy every moment of suffereing, to empty my tank - whatever that meant - and to show up for myself every day. I did (more on that race later). This was such a milestone for me.

People would ask me 'are you back'? 'is your form back?' No. I'm not back. there is no going back, and honestly, I don't want to go back. I want to move forward. If i am doing everything i can, each day, to improve my form while balancing my other life priorities (kids, job, husband), then i am winning. period. I would not give up what i've learned in this process. no, i do not want to 'get back' or 'go back'. 

Relentless forward momentum has been my motto for a while now, and it serves me well. It does not mean no down time ... it means i am always doing something to move myself forward. This might be a day off to really recover, meditation to grow from the inside, or a hard workout to grow my fitness. All of these things move me forward and i'm grateful for each day, and for the new habits and i am learning which help move me forward.